May 12th, 2010

naked back

the cymbalta commercial is depressing

well it is. i was laying here, hoping to sleep, knowing it was impossible and the cymbalta commercial came on about caring about nothing and blah blah blah and just sent me over the edge. don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful drug and helped me for a long time, but the ad department is really reaching out to grab the unmotivated masses.

this morning is a rough morning. i didn't lay in bed because i knew doc was still up and i wanted to spend time with him and i ended up being all fucked up and anxious through it. i got a solid half hour, though. and i get an hour or two in the afternoon. today is his friday so tomorrow when i wake him up i have him all to myself.

today i have to wet vac two very dark puke stains and redo where i wet vacced the other day because jack puked there the other night. joyous. two more clean spots on the carpet. i'll get this whole carpet done. it will take me a while, but i'll get there. with just an upholstery hose.

i don't suppose anyone wants to bring me a pack of smokes. anything but menthol. cheapest ones out there, don't care. running out of cigarettes is my nightmare. doc said he'd take care of me, but he's got a lot on his mind lately. the new schedule has been rough on him. going from eight to ten hours a day, working in the middle of the night, so working a lot with asia. he looked beat this morning, i'm glad he has the next three days off.

now i'm waiting for M to get up. then i can clean the kitchen and work on the carpet. i need to just relax and breathe. breathe deep.