September 16th, 2009

2013, cyd, new

*weep*

new kitty is now too weak to resist when we pick him up. he's lost weight since he got here last thursday. and he just won't eat. we don't have money for vet bills. we don't have money for my own meds. we can't give him the care he needs and he is not assimilating. i am no advocate of taking an animal to a shelter, even a no kill one, but i think it's time to consider it. i never got over henry's death, i can't deal, and i mean cannot deal with another hopelessly sick cat. i have nightmares about him every night. i'm afraid every time i walk into the bathroom to see him that he's going to be dead. this cannot go on. he doesn't even hiss when one of the other cats comes into the bathroom, and it isn't acceptance, he's just too weak. there have been hopeful moments, but he's not drinking, all he does is sleep. when i make him sit up or stand up he rocks back and forth like he's going to fall down. it's killing me to watch.

keep in mind that M brought him into this house and for some reason it has fallen to me to deal with it. M wants nothing to do with it. he hasn't even been into see him since new cat took up residence in our bathroom.

i'm going to go try to feed him some roast chicken later, right now i'm trying to get him to eat his fortified wet food. maybe the owner (i say that because M insists this is only for a couple of months, though she said she was never getting another pet because she had such a hard time giving them up, so i don't know what's going on) can come over and try to feed him. but at some point it will be too late and the fat will start storing in his liver. his stomach is bloated, he meows in pain when he's picked up. this is a cat that needs help and i can't give it to him.

i've been having a bad week as it is for entirely different reasons, a really hard week that could have landed me in the hospital, but i won't go because of this cat. i'm under close supervision from my psychiatrist and i just . . . can't. i feel like a piece of shit for it, but there it is. i can only take so much and i'm on the edge.

enough of this trip. i have a workroom to clean out and a kitchen to clean. then i need to clean my dresser off. and polish the silverware, the dishwasher leaves them all spotty. and in between spend time with mr. kitty and try to get him some love and try to get him to eat. plus i need to figure out a way to bring it up to M so that there is some resolution now. so i can stop crying. that is very wearing.
  • Current Mood
    beat down
2013, cyd, new

" collection of criminally minded"

ups woke us up today
we thought it was maintenance
and totally freaked
the ashtrays weren't put away
see, the lease says
"no smoking on the premises"
and we don't know if it applies
to our apartments
or just outside on the grounds
so just to keep it simple, we
keep the ashtrays put away
and the smokes
and any incriminating evidence
(the lease has a drug free clause as well, i feel like i'm living in salt lake city)
when maintenance is coming over
they have to call here first
but monday there was a leak
next door, so they came busting over
and freaked us out
i stalled at the door
they had to go into the bathroom
where new kitty
illegal kitty lives
ugh.

new kitty freaked out on Tech
still strong, just damn lazy
i need to go in with the chicken
see if i can get him to eat
he peed again, and i was there
it didn't seem painful
and it was plentiful
so he's still drinking enough
though i knew he was drinking
because his water dish has
fur floating on top
i had to clean it again today
doc brushed him last night
and he (mr. kitty, not doc)
seemed to like it
though doc said he didn't purr
and that tells me something
purring is said to be a social thing
and i know from experience
that even a sic cat will purr
while it's getting help
and new cat isn't purring
so he's not feeling social
and why should he?
he moved
he changed owners
he's now surrounded by cats
and he lives in a cupboard
on a bag full of bags
i'd be anti social, too
though he always perks up
when i go in and pet him
he even comes out and
checks out his food
i wish he'd eat, already
he can't live on people food
i won't allow it, he won't
get his nutrients and such

speaking of pets,
sasha the hamster is doing well
she still bites like hell
but she is active and healthy
and getting bigger and bigger


i'm tired of hearing about
the carter racism comment
if you don't know about it
just go to a news outlet of your choice
i should be glad it's a slow news day
and i am, but still, the carter thing
is just beating a dead horse

i'm done