April 7th, 2009

rainbow canes

60 days has come and gone

and i got my tag. i giggled for joy and hugged the guy running the meeting who was giving out the tags.

yesterday i went and had my root canal. i had misremembered how damned painful it was. i didn't sleep through this procedure like i did through the last one, the extractions, i was more in a meditation with Mama Mia in the background. they play movies for the patients. when i left, i was in such a state that i i forgot to get my pain presciption and left without it. when i called for it, the receptionist was confused and refused. so M got home and took me down there, i left with my prescriptions in hand. we went to fill them and bam, pain meds in hand. it only took an hour to go through the whole things.

now i'm on a reduced dosage to avoid any addiction or reason to give up my 60 days. abuse is not an option. sponsor or no, i will not get hooked on anything but my cigarette. M was fucking with me and asked me why i don't say i'm straight edge, as i lit a cigarette. i told him i could burn him with the reason, but he surely would not like it. i'm starting to like M a lot. we can fuck with each other the way doc and i can't. he is such an older brother, the one i never had. despite the fact he is younger than me. i feel i am repeating myself, but i talk to so many people and text people that i'm not sure who i've said what to whom.

my next NA tag is at 90 days, and since i don't have my diary next to me, i can't say how many more days that is then i have to do the math for 6 months. one year will kick ass. my sobriety date is 2/2/09 that one isn't hard to remember at all. so i know.

thank you all for your support. without cyber friends this would be much harder to do. with you guys, sobriety is easier, i feel like it's not just a covenent with the people i live with and myself, but you guys and that makes it much easier. thank you again. every comment means something important: i am not alone.
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