February 17th, 2009

honor mal

15 days, half way to my next chip

i asked M after the wrestling thing what he thought of my hair straight and he told me he liked it better than curly and i carried myself differently, better even with it. i could have hugged him, but he was driving at the time.

tonight i have to beg him to take me to a meeting, i really need some outside support. don't get me wrong, the guys here are giving me much support, i have smelled nary a drug since i got home. they don't even talk about it when i'm around. but the meetings offer so much more support. even if measured in pure hugs.

i know some of you are against the 12 step programs and i was, too. but for me it is working right now and i can walk away any time i want. the two councilors at the rehab were really harsh with me my day before last there. it made me want to walk away, but i had been warned of that kind of behavior by one of my friends on here, so i took it with a grain of salt. i kind of wish the one would be there tonight, but he goes to his own meetings at different places.

it's kind of far away. but i think we can make the meeting and still get back for wrestling, which is M's priority. if it's too close, maybe tomorrow. i want to go while some of my friends are still there, so i have limited time to get to the first meeting there.
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