October 31st, 2008

xmas lights

"heaven can wait, we're only watching the skies"

i've been up since 7:30 this morning. i really have to find a way to stay up later at night. the early morning weirds me out. the thick menacing clouds are moving away, leaving a white striped blue sky.

happy halloween. i forgot there for a moment. it's a quiet night for us, kids don't trick or treat in the complex. they go across the street with their parents to the nice, older neighborhood. i didn't decorate for the holiday, mainly because i'm doing xmas really up this year. so i'm saving myself for that. since i know where all the xmas stuff is this year, i can go nuts.

for example, we got an item in the mail that was packed in with a massive amount of brown paper. so i told doc i would twist it up to make it easier to burn. once it was done and he saw it, we both had the brilliant idea at the same time, we would wrap it with lights and use it as a garland up the stairs outside. and i would use some of it to make a wreath, with some of my silk pointsettias collection. so, even doc got excited about the holidays for a few minutes.

i try to get some laughter out of him every day. whether it's tv or some website i found, at least a big smile. something, anything to see the man i love not in pain for an instant. i cause most of that pain, so i have a lot of guilt.

and i'm slacking off already, putting off emptying the dishwasher for two days. i'll make it up and empty and refill it and generally clean the kitchen. i also have laundry to fold and some to dry. i don't like doing it until everyone is out of the house. doc and i had a talk about that last night, while i was trying to explain why i did nothing on days when doc is home. when he's here, i just want to be next to him. needy much?

when he and M have gone to work i do things. some stuff i do at night, like vacuum. when M is home, he's not really here, right now he's got a game on his computer that he's really into.

i'm so sick of politics. i really am. this crap has been going on for almost two years. i just don't care anymore. the only reason i have the news on now is the number of infomecials on this early in the morning. i'm not listening to it, in fact, M is up, so gods know what he's going to find to watch. huzzah for M!

Alphaville - Forever Young
candy necklaces

"up to the platform of surrender, I was brought but I was kind"

the men are out of the house and the dishwasher is empty. so is my head. but ilike to keep this window open. my thoughts are so fleeting . . . like the end of that sentence.

i finally found the song quoted here. now i can listen to it all day if i want. and put it on my mp3 player. i kind of didn't follow them after their first record, if their first record was the one with "Mr. Brightside". now this song, "Human" has me all excited about the rest of the CD. it has even more of an 80's feel than the aforementioned record. and i love an 80's feel. any tweeners who read this can hip me to similar sounding music, hell, not just tweeners, anyone who follows music via radio and knows and knows the sound i'm talking about.

leeloo has taken over a pile of paper on the chair next to me. if she stays there all day, i won't be surprised. all the cats love to sleep on papers, leeloo on plastic bags, a habit i've tried to break, they all like leather. sometimes in the winter i will put one of my leathers on a chair and letting them go to it. they aren't too keen on the bed quilt. no matter which quilt it is. from my extra fluffy that goes with with my bedding to the very flat but warm home made looking quilt. the cats will go to great lenghts to get over the quilts with as few steps as possible, bouncing off our bodies, doc's and mine. at night they all crowd around us as we fall asleep and try to get sleep-pets. pets are all they live for, pets and a full refrilling cat feeder. except tech, who likes milk so much, he sings for it. yes, a singing cat. i've never heard such a thing. he gives a milk loving monologue.

The Killers - Human