October 28th, 2008

2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

things are still a bit strange. i'm very sensitive, and doc has been tired and grumpy all day. i begged him to stay home and keep an eye on me since i was my first full day out and i'm just kind of half raw/half numb. it's hard to relax and smoke a cigarette, i'm used to having two to smoke very fast every couple of hours.

i stuck to one pot of coffee today, doc says i get another tonight but that i am to drink some fruit juice between now and then, which i am doing. i've had all i'm going to eat today, until med time, then i get another banana. doc and i have set down some rules on how i am to help and try to think for myself. something that never should have had to be done. but i've been lost in another world it seems and now i'm awake from that. i don't hold a lot of hope for myself, but i've been working hard to make things smooth for doc.

i'm glad to be home. the meds aredn't doing anything differently here than they were at the hospital. they are working, this is all that mattters to me.