September 24th, 2008

what by who

"you weren't there, you never were"

spore is completely addicting. satisfying in ways the sims never could. we're taking turns playing it (M and i). he let me evolve the look of a character, so cool.

i went to the shrink today. i asked about adderall and she suggested topamax. so i have a one month script for that. if it doesn't work, i am definitely pursuing the adderall. she said it would make all my moods worse. hell, the topamax is likely to affect my memory. great. whatever. just feed me the pills.

i guess i'll arrange getting them tomorrow.since doc doesn't leave me money . . . right, whatever. i don't care. he's always angry at me, and at the point where i should have given up and said fuck it, you be responsible for me totally, i started trying harder to be better. the harder i try the more he expects of me. and when i try and fall short of that, he really wraps me in guilt. it sucks. but don't tell anyone. it will work itself out. we're poor and married. divorce is never an option.

besides, i love him so completely . . . i am consumed with love for him. it's odd of me. most people i wouldn't even bother trying to change, doc though, i want to be the perfect whatever. whatever he wants of me. and he doesn't believe that because i didn't empty the fucking catbox.

oh shit, where did that come from?

Pink - So What