August 25th, 2008

art journal vegas

(no subject)

salutations. i haven't decided what mood i'm in. the kitchen is trashed. there is cat vomit on the floor. okay, no more cat vomit.

what is a good silver polish that leaves a protective coating on the silver? i have a polish, but i did my silver bracelets with it and they all turned black with sweat and wear. not attractive.

i don't know if i mentioned it, but jack tore off one of his claws while kneading at my stuffed bear, Bernard. we've been keeping it clean and it looks to be healing, but i can't see a new nail in the pulp. he's not limping or chewing on it and as long as there's no sign of infection, we have no plans to go to the vet. at the first sign of infection or pain and i'm putting him in the carrier and busing him to the new vet up the hill.

nothing got done in my studio room this weekend. i kept taking naps. i'll take care of it myself today. after i nap.

i've been letting the meds knock me out in the morning/early afternoon. that way i get up around 5 and can get stuff done once the heat of the day is over.
  • Current Music
paper sun

(no subject)

i was roused from my nap by loud thunderclaps. the storm is now upon us. the lightning and thunder are simultaneous and the wind has picked up considerably. this rain snuck up on the weather people. i can't wait to see the radar at the four o'clock news. and now the rain has started. i'm only up to watch the storm. part of me wants to go back to bed for a while. wow, the wind has really picked up. the parking light is swaying and all sorts of light sundries are flying across the big dirt hill. i think it may have passed now. that was too fast. oh well, back to nap.
  • Current Music
    intermittent thunder
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(no subject)

the geodon reduction program is off. it does more for my psychosis than i thought. the symptoms recurred so quickly. i'm out. geodon it is. maybe i can trade some seroquel in for more geodon, maybe it would help with the seroquel weight gain. the cost of it has to come down some time, but for now we can afford it. i just got sick of feeling on the edge. feeling so raw and capable of hurting myself. we passed my parent's house today and it put me in the killing mood. but i awoke in a killing mood. seeing that house just brought it back.

i'm sitting watching wrestling with M. i'm wrapped in my blanket for security and have my favorite beanie hat on, again, for security. the hat they wouldn't let me have in the hospital. i could unravel it and hang myself, and the patch on it (army medic patch} could be stuffed into someone's throat. it's scary what desperate people will try or do.

i'm going to stay up late tonight. i don't want to get up early tomorrow.