February 21st, 2008

unsettling

(no subject)

what a fucking week. i've mutilated both of my wrists with large erasers. and now i think one of them is infected. according to webmd.com i need to seek professional help. and a doctor sees my wounds and it's off to montevista for me. no thank you.

i feel a lot of remorse about these wounds, and that is a new thing to me. we went out to dinner with M the other night and i wore long sleeves. i'm going out sometime today and already have a long sleeved shirt picked out. i hate having to do this. i hate having these huge pieces of gauze taped to my arms. i want the wounds to go away now and i want this possible infection to clear the fuck up. i've never gotten an infection from this, but i stupidly went out and emptied the cat box with the fresh wound uncovered. smart, i know. the whole thing just smacks of self centered stupidity.

ten days without any lortab and no ill effects aside from the head poundy thing for a day, but that could have been related to the half doses of cymbalta i was taking. now i'm back on my full dose.

i have to remember to take my camera with me when i go out today. i just have to decide which one.

things are going well, considering. doc and i have been spending a lot of quality time together. he's thinking of changing his shift, and i don't know how well i'll be able to adapt to it. having him home and asleep all day while i'm up and around will be weird. but whatever makes him happy, and he's definitely not happy with his current shift and the one he really wants is out of reach for a few months.

i've been making jewelry. i made a gorgeous necklace the other day and a weird but beautiful bracelet. i have a box of stuff to list on ebay. i need to get pictures, that's ironic.