December 9th, 2006

2013, cyd, new

the morning of back ache

it's mostly gone now. thanks to a hot bath and heating pad and sitting up straight. it's my bed that does it. well, me and my bed. if i sleep in a certain position, i will wake up hurting. not just sore, but screaming pain around my middle. but like i said, it's mostly gone now. i'm waiting for pain relievers to jump in on this. i'm out of the good stuff so this is just excedrin type stuff. i almost took some ibuprophen, then remembered what that does to me on my medication, and stopped myself. i have no desire to feel drunk and throw up. and that is what ibuprophen does with my meds. kind of silly side effects, but very real ones.

i have to stop baking. i'm the only one eating the stuff i bake. for the most part. doc and kelli munch a little, but it's really me that is consuming the bulk of the sweet treats. any weight loss i enjoyed is gone now. after xmas i'll up my exercise and lower my food intake.
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

kelli had something to say about henry's death, here: http://kam316.livejournal.com/51917.html

we were all glad that henry held on until she got here. she got to say good bye with the rest of us. it was a series of good fortune that brought her here early and in time to say goodbye.

there's a lot of belief floating around about henry. belief that he held on until kelli got here. belief that the candles i keep lit for him do some sort of good in his afterlife. belief that he has an afterlife.

and i can't believe any of it. i am mad at a universe that would take my sister and then take one of my constant companions. and that anger clouds my belief.

i'm mad at me. if i had fed him more . . . if i had gotten him to the vet the day before he died, like i was supposed to . . . if i had done something, anything, to stop his passing. and i know on the surface that i did all i could and more. but deeper down, i don't know that inside.

and as i lament and write this, jack cuddles up against my leg and leeloo lays down on the bed. they know i am missing something. leeloo jumped up on the couch and lay with me like hank used to. they know. and that is the most common question we get asked, do we think the other cats know hank is gone. and yes, i believe in that. i think that they do. and they know i am sad.

i love my cats. my children.
2013, cyd, new

meme stolen from btripp

Go into your blog’s archive and copy the first sentence from eachmonth of this past year. Skip Pictures and Meme’s. Only copy sentenceswhich you actually wrote. This will give you a miniature review of youryear:

january
Happy New Year! may this be a better year for those of us who need it,and may it see the joy of 2005, wherever we found it, continue!

february
pictures back on the walls, everything not supposed to be there isgone. today i'm going to shock everyone and steam clean the carpets. ican't take the stains now that they all show since the floor is clear.

march
i have to go to bed later.

april
Boo had a sleep filled couple of days where he didn't eat or play.

may
if it weren't for free stuff, i'd have nothing. really.

june
That she's doing ok after her ECT treatment, a little groggy and confused but is in a more stable mode emotionally. (written by doc)

july
wow, that just sucked balls. our modem died and it took two weeks forthe cable company to figure it out and tell us about it.

august
i don't whine a lot. just around doc, apparently.

september
first: the upgrade of the computer of doom.

october
we cleaned out the workroom and changed tables. this, for me is monumental.

november
a clear sign that kam316 is almost here: i just took down all of her paintings that were for sale on ebay.

december
doc and i get up early and grabbed the bus to my shrink appointment.