August 15th, 2006

2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

i'm such a nerd. when windows starts, one hears the sound of the Tardis (doctor who time machine that makes a noise when doing its thing) coming from this here computer of doom.

heh, i got the cam working, and i found a free bit of software that so far i really like. i'm not as happy as my image on the cam, but that's me.
2013, cyd, new

i don't want to do that

i was so into the thing. once i got the new book of poetry done, i started thinking about publishing it. and that led to all manner of ack. so many of the poems have to be split onto two pages and erg. no room for the footer and more erg because the poems are not in alphabetical order, so there must be page numbers. but then do i want to rearrange it to be alphabetical? or do i just really want page numbers? and how is it going to look with so many pieces split up? i know i can look at it but i can't pick it up and skim through it. and who is going to skim it, who is going to buy it?

and that leads me down all sorts of other self esteem avenues and alleys. yes, i have a plan to promote it, but without going out and performing it to support it, can i do it all from home podcasting?

and then there is podcasting. this magical thing that can make my work available on demand and free for the listener. an iPod isn't needed, these are mp3 files i'm talking about, in my case. so i go to do some reading and some research and wow it is such a great thing and makes broadcasting available on a grass roots level but i could only learn so much before the sites i was reading referred me to some software. apparently it is this great open thing that needs this program. and i know that can't be right, but for the life of me i can't find a tutorial that isn't about this damn software.

i have a domain of my own. i have the means to make mp3s, i would like to know more. so today i will keep reading and if that program ends up being worth it, i'll do the free trial for thirty days when i'm ready to do it.

i'm project challenged today. i don't know what to do. my head is in a dark place and i don't know how to get it out. i think i'll put some lights up.
2013, cyd, new


or, computer of doom. now it says "look at me, i'm stupid" from one of the shows (still on dr who). i have completely customized the look and sound of my computer. TuneUp Utilities is the program, get it for the free 30 days and play with it, i am. it does all sorts of other geeky things with windows but i keep to the bottom of the list of utilities and change my welcome screen. or my color scheme. completely fabu.

u2 trinket box and other cool stuff at my ebay store

i'm just sayin'

so anyway, i'm totally not comfortable on camera and i'm not working, i'm just sitting here, editing and reading, so the cam will be sporatic. i'll pretty much let you know in here, lj land.
2013, cyd, new

some time ago

i wrote a song. or the lyrics to a song. anyone wanna put it to music?

no, there was nothing left
when we stumbled out of the flames
and your eyes were ice
nothing could make you say my name
there was always one more
for the road, for the day, for the floor
so much of the 'cheers, boy'
and we were suddenly searching for the door

you got in me
and i got in you
and you started to itch
and i stood by and bitched
and then it all fell down
and your head was spinning around
so why are you laughing now?

no, there was no fucking way
that i would ever back down to you
there is no power now
so there is so little you could do
and you pour me one more
for the road, for the dead, for ourselves
so for hell's sake, 'cheers, boy'
and don't be stingy with the wealth

you got in me
and i got in you
and you started to itch
and i stood by and bitched
and then it all fell down
and the world is spinning around
so why are we laughing now?

you were such a dopey fuck
i don't think you ever grew up
do me a favor and shut the fuck up

maybe once i record it. and it will be a challenge to speak the rhymes and not sound all rhymie and stuff. i'm not sure how to put what i'm trying to say here . . . i can't.

there is a hole in the top of spot's cage. it has a little plug for it that screws in. but doc has taught her to climb up and escape from that hole when he makes noises at her. so that is today's cute spot moment.
2013, cyd, new

it's been a long day

i've been sitting here all day. the result? 2 new chapbooks. both very personal. the first is already up and published. the other can wait for tomorrow. i am so drained. i think i smoked a record low amount of cigarettes.

our bank continues to insist our account is okay. but there are details, yes, things they've missed. like check approval or atm. even though they've been telling doc everything was hunky dory. blah.

man i feel like an empty vessel. i feel like the air is thick with ghosts of my past. they are fading like so much mist. but i really feel clean. again today, i can't explain it.

seeing what i wrote about myself for three years was insightful, of course. but it was more. releasing.
2013, cyd, new

the newly hung lights in the workroom

it is so much better in here to work with these instead of the big bright light which is actually four lights in a ceiling fan.

it is dark enough that you can't see that my table upon which i work is full of stuff. you can see that my hanging florals bush from hell. i don't show the shelf wall to the left of the photo, it is overflowing with clear plastic shoe box things and regular shoe boxes all full of sorted things. ugh. i let you see the neat shelves with a set amount of stuff on them and hanging from them. i have no need for more stuff. i am full of stuff.

but yeah, here's the newly hung lights in my studio/workroom.