June 16th, 2006

2013, cyd, new

oh, yeah, whoops

i just got my email confirmation of my seroquel order. just a couple of more days now.

short term memory is still all fuckered. though long term stuff like how i do my art is coming back to me. i remember some of yesterday. all the previous is gone.

i didn't think this through, i never do. but this . . . wow. i didn't at all realize how much i would be relying on doc for even simple things like getting through the day. i'm hoping that wears off a bit.

long term memories are more fun because i can make them up or disregard them altogether. i wish this was a more selective process, but i think i'm finally relaxing and not fighting so hard.
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

i just read my written journal from the hospital. nothing all that surprising. that is comforting. i rushed getting out of the hospital, i should have given it a few more days, but everything is working out, i think. i got the ebay situation handled and got zenweb.net back . . .

i need to attend to my doctor care and medication. this week without seroquel has sucked. i had to stop the lamictal in the hospital for good. i also forget to take xanax, so i make it harder on myself without meaning to.

i got a get well card from doc's parents today. they called me in the hospital. parents work in mysterious ways. then they send me a card telling me they love me, i'm not even their kid. i totally cried.

against better advice, i've been living on frozen waffles and diet lemonade. i'm really starting to become irritable with my bowels. i've tried eating other things but the rice didn't stay down and the toast only did the once. lots of water, too. i'm plenty hydrated.

now i'm killing time waiting for doc to get home with cigarettes. i'm still unsteady about being alone. i wish R and i were still friends (no, i have no idea what happened there, our lives just went separate ways), as it would be good to have someone next door. it is good to know that S may stop by. my biggest complaint in my written journal was the people. now i'm craving people. that is strange.