May 11th, 2006

2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

to look at Spot right now, sleeping belly up as peaceful as dawn, you would have no clue that she spent three or so hours playing with jack this morning around dawn. she got out of her cage (that little loophole in security has been fixed) and ran around playing chase with the cat until they made enough noise that doc got up, nearly stepped on her, and then took her back to her cage and put a plate on it so she couldn't get out for the rest of the human's sleeping time.

and this is the time that i tout the wonders of the travel ball. it gets the hamster used to travelling in the open spaces of rooms, so when they manage to escape, they don't go hiding and being difficult, they are usually in the middle of some room, sniffing at something. this is a truth i have found with all of my hamsters. it has also taught her and the cats to be nice, since the ball can run over cats. jack never laid a paw on her. doc searched for scratches, but found nothing but unbroken hamster skin.

i'm sitting here waiting to feel better. i had a long talk with doc yesterday and tried to explain to him how i am feeling and why i can't articulate it better. i tried to explain how hard it is for me to come out and say, "i'm really feeling like offing myself right now, help". partly because i know he can't help and partly because saying things like that puts people into a right panic.

so two weeks from last tuesday, if things have not improved, i am not coming home from my appointment. i have two weeks to snap the hell out of it. pharmaceutically assisted, of course. if not, well, i'm taking my teddy bear, Bernard, and plenty of cigarettes to that appointment. at least i don't have blue hair this time. though since a teddy bear was the focus of the past attack on me, mayhaps i should leave dear Bernard home.

but if things get better, i am free like the wind, baby. today i cracked a joke to doc and smiled. that itself is improvement. all i have to do is keep going up and stop hurting myself. that doesn't seem too hard right now.

and i'm still able to go outside with someone with me and i have been fine with it. i've gone on several errands with R (though i have yet to ride in her new truck) and i have been fine with it. even went into some stores with no problem. so i'm not grounded, which is good, since i am still seeking the holy grail of the social security card. hee.
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

i once joined in a . . . how shall i say . . . crusade of sorts online about the evils of xanax. so every time i mention taking it, or how it helps me, i feel like a giant hypocrite. there have been so many times online i have been an idiot. i guess we all do that.

i got a picture of hank and jack loving on each other, if i have enough battery power, i'll post it later. i took it so i have proof they once loved each other. i've done this with all of them. as they grow up they get tired of henry's attention and isolate themselves from each other, only gathering together to get treats or catnip.

now my eyes are crossing, i think i may take a nap. it is amazing how much one person can sleep.
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

i just got "Morons From Outer Space" on DVD for my birthday!!!! thank you, big time, goes to btripp!!!!!! (i'm pretty sure, call me on it if i'm wrong and i will be rightly humbled)

i don't know how many of you are familiar with this movie, but it is hilariously wrong. see it if you can. come over here and watch it with us, i have it now!! in stereo!!

so that makes up for sleeping all day. i'm not sure how that makes up for it, but it does. and now i'm off to deliver the jack and henry picture and hook up the DVD in the living room. doc is gonna hate me, but he is watching this movie tonight. let's hope he's in the mood for stupid. =}