April 17th, 2006

2013, cyd, new

hi hello how are you

i did something completely stupid and intentional and am now bathed in a dirty shade of shame.

no internet for a couple of days. the house is gleaming and my sims are all happy.

the weather continues to be beautiful.

i missed easter dinner with R's family yesterday, i fell asleep. I hope R isn't upset with me, i had really planned on being awake on time. there is no way i foresaw a 6 hour nap.

today i'm going to take a long look at why i hate to take showers and won't take them alone again. maybe i can get into my head enough to get myself clean.

i will not shave my head. i will find my ponytail elastics.

we rigged an antenna to the stereo, i can now listen to the best of what las vegas FM has to offer. my thrill at the 80s station is silly to see. though i can see how it will get old, "the best of the 80s and more", right. same three U2 or thompson twins songs and more listenings to "tainted love" than you can stand. i know. but for now i love it.

one of my ebay packages hasn't arrived at its destination and it is pissing me off. i mailed it. i triple checked the address . . . i don't know what else i could have done. though i am in a position to replace the journals she bought with better ones. it just annoys me. i'm hoping that since my internet was out for a couple of days that maybe the package arrived.

and that about sums it up, except for Boo, who is just a normal old hamster now who is getting fatter by the day. today he gets another check and cleaning, but the wound is so tiny now. no more barking hamster and he's back to the tummy fuzzle lovin' critter i know and love.
2013, cyd, new

disasterous

i ventured out to get cigarettes. the good news is that i didn't get lost. it is, after all, a straight shot to the corner store. no, the problem i had was remembering which of the stores i was supposed to get the smokes at. there are two corner stores. then when i got into the first one, i got all disoriented because it didn't look like i thought it would. so i got the smokes and went over to the other store, mainly to see the layout and if i recognized it, which i did, but i didn't associate it with cigarettes. i did have the presence of mind to use the crosswalk . . . gods that was wretched. i got home and just shook.

i don't think the neurontin is working and i know that the xanax has about reached the tolerance point. i almost want to go back on klonopin and see if that works better.

it will be a while before i go out alone again.