i have to stay up later at night.
i have some christian rock song in my head.
i just spent several quality minutes petting jack.
it's a good morning.
now off to make some coffee and watch the morning news.
my newfound sense of independence is driving me and everyone around me batty. i can't stand waiting. i want everything done right now.
in other news, i still can't find the car title and have come to believe it isn't in the house. so i searched the car and it isn't in there either. though i did find things that will be useful. papers and such.
then i thought that the cable was out, which it shouldn't have been, but whatever. and i planned to pay that tonight, but it was just an outage so i can wait to pay that friday. which works out very well for me.
doc set up an account for me online at the prescription company that handles my meds. so far, for $80, i have gotten $1105 worth of medications. not a bad deal at all. it lets me track that stuff and also gives me information on the drugs and generic alternatives, if there are any. pretty cool company. very cool website.
off to print out a replacement car title form. hee.
went for a walk and noticed it isn't just the morning when the bums and the meth heads are out. really the only people walking around where i walked are homeless or mentally ill (i'm judging by obvious signs). made me feel right at home and goddamned grateful i had a home to walk home to.
i don't think i've ever loved this little apartment more than when i walked in with the groceries. it is nice and comfortable and though cluttered, it is clean.
and it even smells clean. i steam cleaned the rest of the living room carpet and febreezed all around and lit some nag champa . . . it smells comfortable and like home.
i'm so insanely happy for so many simple things. i'm still giggly over the new mop and broom and use them every chance i get. simple things make me happy now. i feel happiness, and not just a fleeting laughing fit over something, but real contentment.
and it seems like every time i step outside my door, i find a reason to be happy that i live where i do and that i am living at all. i've gone beyond survival into true living. with its highs and lows, certainly. but to have a full range of feelings and not be a zombie and to feel motivated. i'm thankful to whatever fates conspired to send me this medicinal relief.
i had a brief meltdown yesterday, out of frustration, but the ever patient doc talked me down. and today has been really good. no irrational fears have gripped me and i feel good. the walk was incredible, mild weather just perfect for a trot and enough wind to counteract the fumes from the traffic on the roads, which had just started to get heavy. i had a bit of anxiety about crossing the roads where i had to, but the cross lights did me just fine and nothing bad came close to happening. in all, a terribly successful outing. i'm pretty proud of myself. and maybe doc will be more lenient with me going out more. it would be much better for him if i were responsible for my soda and cigs.
i also stopped at the post office, where we are blessed with really friendly people behind the counter. i mailed off my ebay stuff and zuma's CDs. that's another thing i like to have control of. and another thing that doc doesn't have to worry about.
it is taking this DMV website three years to load a page. i guess for free forms to circumvent going to the office, it is well worth it. i can leave the room and do stuff i want to do.
i have trillian installed and open now. i'll actually keep up with the away message this time.
on yahoo i'm cydniey
on AIM i'm cydnieyB
on ICQ my number is 7362323
on MSN i'm cydniey or firstname.lastname@example.org
i think that covers it. =}