March 13th, 2006

2013, cyd, new

today's fear

we had to move the car last night and the only place was an unmarked but "understood" handicapped place. now, before any indignation kicks in, no one parks there who is handicapped.

my problem is this: we will move it tonight again, but i can't move it myself and i am convinced (funny how the fear becomes the One True Thing in my head) that the car will be towed today. and i have no way at all of moving it back until doc gets home from work tonight.

so i expect my day to be taken up with this, my night was. worst sleep i've gotten in a long time.

and i need to let it go. it was doc's decision, and out of my hands. there is literally not one little thing i can do about it.

i need to make more friends. i'd buy lunch for whomever helped me move the car straight back into another parking space. i just have no one to call about it.

out of my hands. i hate that. too much is out of my hands.
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

after talking to doc about it and letting what he said sink in, i'm fine with the car being where it is. the desperate need to move it is gone. i'll use its closeness to wash it today. carrying water up and down the stairs will be good for me.

i will clean frantically everything in this house today. just to keep my mind off of it. i hate the way these things snowball.
2013, cyd, new


the house is clean and i made two new necklaces. i haven't made any jewelry or even sat down in my studio for months. i even cleaned the ceiling fan in the studio. gross.

no one seems to have taken notice of the car, but i'm sitting and counting the hours until doc gets home. and if S happens to show up today, i'm having him help me move it before doc gets home.

here's the thing that kills me, when we were bleeding the clutch line i couldn't (and still can't) put it into any gear but reverse, and i really want to go out there and put it in reverse and back it into another space. but i don't want to do any more damage.

so i'll go do another load of laundry. hee.

oh, and a shout out to zuma for buying my last CD! i've found out that the mp3s on it don't always work so i'm sending out a second CD with the spoken word on it. do you want it in audio or mp3 formatt? =}
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

R got called in early to work tomorrow so my little trip to the social security office is on hold indefinitely.


in an hour we will have moved the car. good to know my obsessive worrying was for naught. better than being right about it. much better. i'd rather be worried than right in cases like this. =}

Boo is in his new cage and is confused as all get out. he likes the wheel but it is much smaller than he is used to so he's going to have to adapt, which i'm pretty sure he will. i have him on the coffee table so i can watch him and the cats can say hi.