November 14th, 2005

2013, cyd, new


i cleaned the studio and put things away! i can work in there again. i found a container that would hold all my found collage stuff that can't easily be filed. of course there is no room in the studio for it, so i have it in my room with some cardboard "canvases", so when i am uninspired and greatly bored i can pick out pieces to use while i watch tv.

heh, i forget i can watch tv from the studio. i forget entirely about that. there's a dvd player hooked up, even. we have the godfather box set and gigi on dvd. we had once borrowed my favorite repeater, 5th element from a friend. we gave it back and he didn't even notice. heh. we could have kept it safe for him.

i remembered to take the noon meds, thanks to a post it on my monitor. so in a little while i should get a second wind from it. i know that soon enough the levels of the drugs in my blood will even out, but until then i plan to ride the highs wherever i can. cleaning the studio was good, using it will be better. i even have a cam set up in there and ready to go live. everything is ready for this block to dissolve or be pounded through by me.
2013, cyd, new

note to self, mostly

dividing up the meds not so good. not bad, just not anything like taking them together in the morning. i got motivated but didn't stay that way. plus i've been restless, and that isn't cool.needing to take a xanax before it turns to frustration restless. it could be the day's good news but i can't sit still and i am counting down until doc's return again.

there is not enough cannabis on this planet to chill me the fuck out. just long enough to read a chapter. or maybe long enough to watch a movie, i have most of my favorite movies here with me. i just can't deal. in a way i feel like the tv, live, through cable, i feel connected to the real world. movies on video or DVD make me uneasy, disconnect me (i know, i need to unplug altogether - i do that the days my cable is shut off). so i memorize every possible thing i could like on tv and switch back and forth between the show and news, but i don't ever watch it, i read the news, too.

okay, this is starting to reveal a bit too much.

jack is developing as a domesticated cat. he has learned the best time for lovin' is as we wake up, so he is there with the alarm clock in the mornings. he's also started sleeping on the corner of the bed in rotation with the others. soon he'll mellow out enough to ignore chloe's constantly taunting him and will, in effect, be the perfect kitty. we're so lucky. our beasties are uncommonly good creatures who get along and don't mess with each other's lives. even jack in his kittendom had only a couple of incidents with the hamster cage before getting that it isn't his thing. he now watches the hamster run with the same detatchment as the others, as well. i love that little kitty.