September 4th, 2005

2013, cyd, new

ill played race card

i've gotten some strife over my claim that new orleans is not a racial thing.

and since i don't want to respond directly to anyone with this tone, i will just say it to the universe:

black white hispanic . . . POOR that is the one thing that everyone who stayed in NOLA who wasn't a tourist has in common.

i'm so tired of obvious class issues being too taboo to speak of as is, so race is brought into it. yes the poor population of new orleans is primarily black. that doesn't mean they were picking out the white folks instead of the black ones. people of every color and sexual and religious orientation are rotting in their homes. and THAT is the most important thing.

the classes of this country are shit and it is about time that was looked at straight on, not through colors.

do you think jesse jackson was speaking only for black people when he objected to refugees? of course not. just because a majority of a population is of one color or another, or one sexual orientation or another, or one religion or another does not mean they are being picked on.

we may as well be saying that bush hates southern baptists or crawfish eaters. how absurd.

bush has shown time and time again that he hates the poor, can we focus on that for a few minutes?

doc and i are one disaster away from being refugees, how many of you are? how many are black?

big picture, people.
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

since my state psych evaluation is on the 20th, doc and i today discussed the possibility that i may have to go inpatient for tests and such. on the governments dime, but it is a possibility. they will almost certainly want the outpatient tests that should have been run when i first started taking heavy duty anti psychotics. PT scans and the like.

worst case scenario, they want to observe me, or maybe change my meds. if they do that they will find out just how crazy i am. i've behaved during my last two hospitilizations for the most part (don't ask about why there are no more plastic knives in the cafeteria), but if they mess with my meds and lock me up to observe me, they are going to see a much different person than who sat across the table from them.

i'm very intelligent and stupid doctors take that for faking. i used to wonder. until the voices started telling me what to do. i really doubted myself until i started seeing people.

it would be so much easier to pretend i am a bitchy psychic, but i can't in good concious do that.

so much will happen before then, the time will fly to it. that's why i wanted to talk about it tonight, and we were on the subject anyway since i cut myself last night quite intentionally. what can i say, the voices sound very logical and reasonable when they happen.