August 8th, 2005

2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

i need a bed
i am too old and out of shape for my futon
time to use it as a couch
and find myself something to sleep on
thus ends the cheap couch discussion
my futon rocks for a couch
maybe i'll take the futon atop doc's mattresses
and just put it on the floor.

but doc and i need to start sleepig in our own beds
i can't touch someone who is asleep
so when someone is in my bed
i cower (once i go to sleep) curled up in a corner
stiffness . . . and the body heat that man gives off
i love him but i am no meant to sleep with someone in my bed

this day gets more interesting
i have an appointment with the doc rev
doc has to get the car in the shop
i guess i'm cabbing it

i was looking at the collection of shirts
that have been given to me that are all size medium
lusting for the day i can put them on
and my tits won't feel strangled
soon, so soon

my inbox is full of stories of women who put on 40-80 pounds while on seroquel and as soon as they stopped taking it, lost up to 40 pounds. i find that encouraging. very encouraging.
2013, cyd, new

speaking of going postal

i wanted to ask my mailman a question. so i approached him and said, "excuse me, i hate to interrupt you," he cuts me off and says, rather menacingly for a man smaller than me, "well then maybe you shouldn't".

no, i didn't punch him. he was in the locked cage that is the mailroom. apparently other people have been asking about packages because he got really defensive and started yelling at me. i charmed him into being human to me by the end of it, but i really wanted to strangle him for speaking to me like that.

once i'm thin, that kind of shit won't happen. sad mad world, but thems the facts.
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

three sizes to go before my comfy clothes fit me comfy

i'm thinking of my favorite three pairs of pants in that size and i swear i'm near drooling.

four or five sizes (that is where the working out will be the most important) from where i am to be in my thin clothes. two pair of pants i've never worn and another five pair i love dearly.

and the skirts. my skirts and tights will fit again soon. since boho is in i will even be in style almost.

i'm loopy from the painkillers. i see doc rev today. hopefully the seroquel stops now. and we get to take a caB! yeesh.

phoenix called for doc today. things are up in the air once agian. see them fly around.
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

cleaning the trash out of the living room!!!! YAY! gotta find the lights i bought for the table.


i get to recover a chair cushion and fix another chair today too. i found the hardware i need, which means a smaller chair in the studio, which i need because the walls are lined with table, shelves and more shelves, very little room to move around the big chair i have in there.

i love to fix things.
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

my pink ladies shirt fits! cool.

not like it does at ideal weight, where it falls off my shoulder, but kind of cool. and definitely a lighter weight t-shirt than my fat shirts.

we're taking a cab. i'm taking the camera. i'm still lopped from the lortab, so i'm not at all nervous about going out, since doc is going with me. he didn't like the idea of me taking a cab alone, i agreed with him on that one, i think we all do.

gotta find a "Smail".
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

i hate the cabs here when it comes to the suburbs. i didn't make the appointment with doc rev. now we're waiting so i can go to the store while he goes to the bank then comes back for me and we come home. i'll be fine alone in the store, i know the women there so well by now.
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

thus endeth the cab oddessy.

i got all i needed but sculpey clay.
that can wait
i was more into the super clearance price on a
big stack of the decorated paper i use for book binding

oh, and silver foil tape, that can wait, too
and i can probably get it online

record boxes will be ready to go soon.
i needed laminate for them
then i have these wee rivets . . .
it will look so cool

stuff to make

my first clock, oh yeah.
2013, cyd, new

strange thing

i was uber social at the store. got a discount, talked a woman who "so wanted to learn beading but was just too old" and steered her toward these swavorski crystal bead watch kits that are made just for women like her. a classy, quality product with explicit instructions.

then there was talking up the cashier (how i forgot my clay) because when i am being a real person, i will talk up my art to anyone, usually giving tips.

when i go back to work, i'm making michaels my first job. i know their products, except for the florals, but there are people in there who only work with the florals, so that isn't an issue. and i rock at restocking misplaced stuff. i'm anal that way. and if i can be social, i can talk to and help customers (also good at that).

it was going to be savers, so i could get the employee discount, but doc has correctly pointed out that the children and their parent's behavior for the most part there could only lead to my incarceration.

oh, and our cab driver spoke three words of english, and we were a complicated fare, therefore. drop me one place, drive through bank, come pick me up, go home. doc is having a cocktail, so i can only imagine how that all went.

i found my double down saloon zippo under the desk the other day. i've been so lost without it. i used my elvis one, that has the same shiny silver finish, but it wasn't the same. i tried my old grey one . . . nope. copper one. that one feels icky, i think i may fuck with the finish on it.
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)


matte silver hands; blue iris gems at 3, 6, 9, and 12; clear with white clouds gems at the others; handmade paper face embossed with sea creature shapes