June 6th, 2005

2013, cyd, new

i was thinking

last night, random thoughts back to when i was wearing a certain size jeans and thinking myself fat. i know my self view is skewed, we know this, the bulemia years taught us that.

and something finally clicked in my head. so i'm not wearing a shirt and pants that are three sizes to big for me today. today i am wearing clothes that fit me, although snug, the snug is in the cut and i actually look much smaller than i do in the baggies, think i would learn that eventually.

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and it should be noted that the belly bloating finally went down. i still have a chubby belly, but it isn't looking like i've got a bun in the oven.

i need to be more real with myself, and stop seeing myself as my (200 lb heavier) mother.
2013, cyd, new

okay, and . . . squee!

just saw another preview for the new season of stargate, and claudia black is returning to make daniel jackson crazy. claudia and ben browder . . . i would never have let myself dream.