Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

i was looking at one of my gargoyles

and then i ran across this while building the new website. i think it got published in some magazine a couple of years back. and i really like my stuff that is descriptive.

What's In A Gargoyle?
You're just a phase I will outgrow once I get everything I want.
As my life and my mood brighten and my home bears more scrutiny
With life's cycle of experience, I'm sure the things around me
Will reflect that like a summer pond at dawn's awakening,
Shiny and sparkling and sincerely showing who I have become.
With opulence appropriate to where I am heading.
And you, gray gothic gargoyle, firm familiar, will be put away.
A comfort now next to me, you dangle your feet like the child you'll always be,
carved from stone, as you started,
Carved from stone you will stay; eyes forward, not faltering
One foot hooked across the other, thumb safely in mouth.
My own likeness carved from unchanging stone, an anchor in
The chaos that has been my life, loves, longings; my lessons.
A comfort since I opened the box sent parcel post, for what
Good reason, I don't recall, but there at my door with a label
In a hand I both recognized and recoiled from, the hand of the
Person who knew me the least, loved me the least,
Affected me the least; a distant woman I had known all my life.
The one they'd said was guaranteed to love me faithfully.
The one who let me down, let me drown, let me frown.
Another meaningless gift that has no more to do with
Me than the fleeting thought that prompted its purchase
During a loosening of the purse-strings.
So shocking the surprise that swept over me when
I saw the sweet face and the graceful curve of wings
That seemed to protect her body, bold eyes boring
Into my soul with a message from that foreign Woman
Who sent her to bring me a missive of elusive love.
A hint at what I had craved through the years;
A glimpse of the understanding, recognition, affection
I had longed for from my mother, the one who never told.
As I grow more firm in my own self knowledge, I need less and
Less affirmation from outside influences, incidents, inflections.
I will be able to distance myself from my objets d'art,
They will become mere ornaments, rather than all
Important, all too potent talisman's of my worth in the
Eyes of those around me friends and family who should tell me.
But how to explain to you the real reason, when the time comes,
You are just a phase I will outgrow once I get everything I want.

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