again I use coffee to fight off the floppy feelings. And I didn’t take the Xanax this morning. I’m putting that on a need to take basis from now on. I can’t take it three times a day when I’m not stressed out that much. Sure, there are times I need it, but taking it on a schedule is killing me. Too much sedation. Even though I don’t do a goddamned thing all day, I want to be lucid for my laziness.
Or lucid for the things that I manage to do, like ironing yesterday, I have little burns all over my hands from touching some part of the iron accidentally. I can do without that, thank you very much.
Today I may get the internet back! I’m so excited, I keep bugging Doc to call the cable company and get it all sorted out so I can be back online. I’m tired of hiding. It served its purpose and I got the break from the world that I needed but I’m ready to deal with it all again. I just hope I didn’t miss anything like an ebay sale . . . oh well, there was nothing I could do about it. Doc called three times and tried to get things working again. I’m hopeful that the fourth time will be the charm.