if i can get through today . . .

my ECT partner has returned to the safety of the hospital. my night was all about making the same decision. in the end, deciding to stay home and make it work. i have fewer pressures on my than my friend. there is no reason i shouldn't be able to carve myself out a nice chunk of life with my spiffy new brain.

i don't mind saying i'm scared shitless. but i belong here, this is my home. i can complete my treatment outpatient. i will not waver there, i don't need to be watched 24/7. i'm not a danger to myself anymore.

i simply can't remember why i am surrounded by most of the stuff i'm surrounded by. scary, yes, but not life-stopping.