Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

i can't stop rocking back and forth. i don't do it while i'm typing or doing something like smoking a cigarette, but any other time i find myself staring into space and rocking. it's disconcerting. add that to the din of voices in my head and i am very annoyed. at least no voice sticks out or speaks to me. that is when i go beyond annoyed to pissed and worried. then there's the whole mutilating myself a couple of weeks ago.

and yet i feel like i've been on an even keel. that is strange. something is bugging me. it has been since around easter and i have no idea what it is. but i feel like it must be the thing bringing on the symptoms. my medication intake has been nearly flawless.

but if i feel good overall, are the voices and the rocking really that important? it isn't like people ever see me, and when they do i manage to control it by sitting certain ways so i can't rock.

i'm very confused about the whole thing and i can't talk to doc about it. which sucks, but it keeps the peace and the eveness of our lives. i don't want to disrupt that unless something big is wrong.
Tags: head case
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