Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

i think it's a mid life thing

i'm going to turn 37 in a month and i have no plans. meaning i didn't plan to get any further than that. i thought it would happen earlier, but always said 37 at the outside. i have no more plans. so i'm having some sort of identity crisis here.

i guess i just start making it up. ignore society as i did in my youth and do things as they come to me. fake it until it's real. that sort of thing. so what, the anger fades a bit and you get to a more, "so what?" point of view. but that doesn't mean i have to suddenly start to care about what people think about me.

maybe it is finally time where i am just even for a while. no big ups or downs, just a few years, hell, even one year of even would be nice. and maybe that is coming and part of me senses it and is freaking a little inside. whatever it is, it is at least occupying my time.
Tags: another epiphany

  • "you made me happy, oh mandy"

    today is the second anniversarry of our cat, henry's death. we've been mourning him all week and had a rose candle lit. henry liked the smell of the…

  • let it out to the universe

    i want a kitten. i've been going through journals and seeing pictures of henry and i miss him so much. stupid cat. he was my fuzzle buddy. leeloo has…

  • (no subject)

    gods am i wiped out. i just spent the last hour reading about henry's final month and tagging the entries. now i'm weeping uncontrolably and praying…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.