Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

do you ever just wake up and the world is badly bagged dog shit?

and you have no idea why?

good news bad news: the rash is back and the benadryl triumphs. i may try some of the cream. the allergy pills (the tiny bright ones in my handful of soothing blues and white shapes) seem to have rid me of things i didn't know shouldn't be there. like the uvula thing. having that one little piece of skin hanging down and touching my tongue was affecting everything and though i got annoyed with it a few times, i mostly put it out of my mind. but that is gone.

then i remember back to my allergy tests oh those many years ago during the golden age my dad worked in a cancer hospice and i actually got some medical care occasionally. nothing i reacted strongly to stuffed up my nose or gave me watery eyes. so how am i supposed to know i have allergies? the TV tells me watery eyes and runny nose and, oh yeah, sneezing. didn't have that stuff, didn't have allergies.

but, sisters and brothers i am here to tell you that i have been CURED. my head is clearer, though since it was never stuffed up i don't see how that is, but i'll take it.

i'm starting to wonder if my aversion to the computer lately has any deeper meaning and i think it may. during the worst parts, the better parts and the rare good part of the past 8 years i have hidden in front of the monitor. sometimes playing games, sometimes obsessively refreshing my friends page, even reading the occasional polite spam for contact. and now when i go to my friends page it reminds me of the hour and minute counting and the inability to move away from the screen.

but i guess that is what happens. i've seen it, i've been around lj for a long time. people's lives improve and they never need to "let it out" and the journal goes away or inactive.

i don't see a time i stop using this to document how i am feeling at any given time. i am too attatched to documenting and this is just too convenient.

unfortunately, despite the studio's recent makeover, i have the same feelings about it for now as well.

it's time to go figure out how i am going to turn my mood around today, it's still early.
Subscribe

  • dry hot and dusty as hell

    My last surviving grand parent died a couple of weeks ago. Two days to the hour o my Nana's death, my favorite cat, Boo, died in my arms. The grief…

  • Hey there, hi there, ho there

    I'm back, bitches and bastards, TC paid for a forever pass, I should use it. The cops came over and did a welfare check about a month ago. My…

  • Got Caught Stealing

    Having had yet another clever thing stolen by a bunch of what I have to assume are white middle aged hate macines; The line in my twitter profile…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment