how i cope
the lamictal saved my life. having to stop it 8 weeks into it has nearly destroyed my life. i am immersed in symptoms, fears and frustrations.
no better time to talk about how i am coping.
some hours i open up the clock on my desktop and watch the seconds until something else distracting occurs to me. i try to get lost in TV, if only for a few moments. the same with books. i will pick up any of my anne rice novels (to me, her writing is familiar and comforting, i know her style and am soothed by that) and open it to anywhere and read until i can't anymore. i also have a set of movies that calm me, either because of the soundtrack (fifth element, run lola run) or the scenery/costumes.
then there is the cleaning therapy. i will pick one place in my house and clean it to death. that will kill some time.
i also make things and find that when i am creating, i get lost in the thing for a while.
for frustration, i read the journal of a friend who is going through a big breast cancer thing right now. i can sometimes find strength in the strength of others.
when it comes to cutting, i only do it as the last resort. when the xanax and the above distractions don't work, and when it happens i do it small and quick and in a place i cannot hide it. therefore i have to deal with the consequences (at 36, those are few, but still poignant) after.
and lastly, hot baths. there is not a time of the day that isn't appropriate to have a hot soak and just close your eyes for a few moments. take a book and it turns into a relaxing distraction.
hopefully something here triggers you in a good way, think of your own distractions. even if it is watching the second hand on a clock, it is something that proves the passage of time, and with time it is possible to heal.