to me, who has been on the side not lucky enough to see me primarily through memory, life is more intense and exciting as it has ever been, and i can finally see it getting better. i finally see a reason to live. i'm not sure what the reason specifically is, but something in me is driving me, saying "enough already". sure it's the meds helping, but i choose to take them and i ultimately choose to follow the urges to do things. so my life is very much in my own hands.
and well, yeah. just saying i understand and will be here when people can deal. =}