when things go downhill, and i slip out of reality, the first delusion that presents itself is my sister is still alive and i've just been told she was dead. so when i get back to where i should be, that delusion melts away and leaves me with the raw pain of it just happening.
so last night i was sad.
then i had a marvelous dream with a marvelous woman and we were in love and we went on adventures and played in forests and on sand dunes. doc said i did a lot of laughing in my sleep.
so today i am not so sad. i'd like to take up that dream again, but the pain of the tricks my mind plays are not so bad.
so now you know how to figure out if i'm slipping. just ask me about my sister.
and then let me sleep and have wonderful dreams.