worst case scenario, they want to observe me, or maybe change my meds. if they do that they will find out just how crazy i am. i've behaved during my last two hospitilizations for the most part (don't ask about why there are no more plastic knives in the cafeteria), but if they mess with my meds and lock me up to observe me, they are going to see a much different person than who sat across the table from them.
i'm very intelligent and stupid doctors take that for faking. i used to wonder. until the voices started telling me what to do. i really doubted myself until i started seeing people.
it would be so much easier to pretend i am a bitchy psychic, but i can't in good concious do that.
so much will happen before then, the time will fly to it. that's why i wanted to talk about it tonight, and we were on the subject anyway since i cut myself last night quite intentionally. what can i say, the voices sound very logical and reasonable when they happen.