it would have taken you so little effort
because i was really tuned into you
so maybe i wanted to much in expecting
equal treatment from you
you are a stranger deep down
we've never even met
and i don't know how to do these
electronic friendships and contacts
did i never know how to be part of
your in crowd or did i know inside
and just couldn't bring myself to do it
i'm not sure i don't know don't ask me
that's why i write this all down
if i talk myself in enough circles
i may come through the maze, is how i see it
i wanted you to notice my talent
i wanted you to notice me
and i know it was my expectation
and i know it isn't your fault
but it hurts to be reminded
so i backed away and
stopped myself seeing your thoughts
and words and misplaced affections
i think you are a really neat person
and i believe that you are big hearted
and as loving as you can be
but i can't see me helping you or
having any impact on your life at all
and it makes me sad that i can't touch
everyone who touches my heart and mind
i just don't want the constant reminder
and maybe it's a mom thing
since everything lately revolves around the
woman who spitme out like so much vitriol
the one who eviscerated my self esteem
either way it isn't fair to you, but it
is the way it is it is what it is
edit: i realized after posting and reading it that i could have said this many times since i hooked up with the internet. i guess i was finally hurt for real or something. if you think this is about you, it isn't. don't get all bent.