i don't care how attatched i am to a vice, it makes me feel like this just once and i am done. i made a promise to take care of my body. and i've been doing a lousy job. smelling coffee is satisfying, if i just huff it in the morning and maybe make a cuppa tea . . . or maybe it is the milk. doc will sometimes leave it out all night accidentally. and bad milk affects me wrong even if it is barely bad. one or the other. i drank coffee last night and was fine.
i will get to the bottom of this. not eating junk food has not affected me this way before. fruit is supposed to be good, and yes i expect my body to not be used to it and to rebel a little, but this is doubling me over crying type cramps (and i've done baby birthing sans anesthesia - little bugger came out too fast to medicate me).
that reminds me of a completely unrelated thing, women (inlcuding me) don't remember the pain of childbirth. we remember it hurt, badly. but we don't remember, even in the throes of various abdominal cramps what precisely it was like. and i have a theory about this: there is nothing to compare it to. really. there are worse pains, there are more traumatic pains . . . but nothing so weird. your entire lower body is involved in the pain, and there just isn't anything else out there that so completely takes over the bottom of you. just me thinking in type.