Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

get it down quick

i went to five high schools and had two high school sweethearts, so to speak (three if you count the lovely to-be-gay boy - i still love K) i ripped the ego from two young men for no good reason. i was unbalanced, crazed, selfish and melodramatic. oh, and needy, very very needy (yes, some things do not change)

one of these blokes i have the good fortune to be friends with now, 20 years later. mwsmedia just rocks my world. he grew up pretty good.

the other, PE, i don't know. the falling out was intense and there was much acrimony for years. to be honest (and reveal how horrible a person i really am) i don't remember much of either relationship or the life surrounding them. MWS has helped me piece together my time with him. i've never been that lucky with PE.

yeah so what?

i dreamt of PE last night. one of my "sonic the hedgehog" running and gathering adventure dreams.

i woke up wishing more than anything i could apologize to PE. not that i think that would help, it didn't with GC. but now it is out there.

the people next door moved out in the middle of last night. i heard every bump and crash. why i don't just take the fucking xanax when i feel insomnia arrive is beyond me. i have this competitive thing building, "i don't need no stinking xanax" and this scientology nonsense has just made me more self concious of the drugs.

but then, if i had had the benefit of these drugs in high school, there are many people i may still count as a friend.

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