Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

i awoke to "not guilty"
my mom once asked why we didn't go after my father legally
he isn't even famous, but he's worked with kids all his life
i knew it was no use
as long as you're famous
you can throw your wife around
decapitate her and walk
you can abuse random children
and strip their childhoods from them
in the name of your own
and when a dog is dangerous,
lock the child up, you won't be charged
if the drug head renting a room
brings back a child to rape and kill
you may cover for him with no consequence

and it occurs to me that somewhere in these
fucked up cases lay the crucial thing
that would allow my parents to die violent painful deaths
and i would never be punished for it

i don't want to be good
i don't want to be moral
i want to hurt those who hurt me
and in the end i want to be not guilty

i can either hire an african american man of some celebrity to off my family
or i can become a d-list celebrity and do it myself

there must be opportunity here
because i refuse to believe that
these things happen for no reason

there is a clue here
that, if found, could free my sister
and me and my other sister's memory
from the continued survival of our abusers

all the hope is gone
and the rage is here, with all if its furniture
everything i do from here on out
will be to raise my celebrity to the point
where i can kill my family
and free my siste and i to live the rest of our lives
without looking over our shoulders.

because of the potentially incriminating nature of this post, it will self destruct.

why are there no riots?
why aren't young cancer victims taking to the streets?
i'm not much for looting
but i'd be happy to beat the shit out of a few strangers
yell at a few cops
slice my flesh in front of 24 hour news cameras
bleed out on prime time
while screaming the name of my abuser
just because the world loves a spectacle

jackson has a job here waiting for him
i may get my chance yet
the way the cameras follow him

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