cydniey

a month or two ago someone used my twitter account to post a spam message. it must have been reported immediately because my account has been suspended ever since. i just sent off an email to twitter about maybe unsuspending it so i can use it again. i had barely gotten into twitter when this happened, i hadn't even figured out how to post tweets to lj. i hadn't even figured out how twitter worked, aside from making posts. so i'm missing this technological wonder in my life.

on the gorgeous side of things, breakfast was a dream. two over easy eggs, and a sourdough english muffin toasted, buttered and topped with paper thin slices of red onion and slices of cheddar cheese. that's going to be a staple in my diet. i love red onion. i wonder if M will mind if i put them in the mac and cheese i plan to make later this week, maybe tonight.

i also have ground beef to make meatballs and spaghetti. though M is sicilian, so he's got a high standard for pasta. if he's hungry, he'll eat it. i can use the rest of my flat garlic infused bread to make garlic cheese bread to go with it. i'll enjoy it. home made meatballs. i need to check the cupboards for bread crumbs, i'm fairly sure we have them, though i have bread ends and can always make them with my stick blender. then i can season them myself. i like that idea better.

i could condense all this shit and twitter it if i could twitter. i could get another account, but i'm pretty much married to my "cydniey" user name. as one could well understand.

today i plan to tackle my dresser, which has only been used in theory since i stuffed it full of thin clothes. clothes i may get to wear again, since i've started losing weight since i started eating again. i've been eating healthier. which reminds me, i have loads of lentils, i should make a red lentil curry. maybe this weekend. i also have salmon in the freezer and a big bunch of chicken thighs and legs i plan to fry.

so much stuff, now that i've completely woken up. argh. another klonopin to stop my head spinning off my body.

so so hot
i'm stuck in the house today
i found some sunscreen
but i can't take the heat
stupid meds

it's time for me to start
to take a supplemental antidepressant
it will come with a whole new set of
nasty side effects, but i'm
depressed still and i don't like it

i want to go back to the kitchen
not my kitchen, a professional kitchen
i miss my former career
but i can't take the heat
so i stay out of the kitchen
except my own
doc blasts the a/c when i'm cooking
i overcooked the salmon the other night
i can't decide if i'm going to
make salmon salad or salmon cakes
i should look up recipes for both
and see which sounds more delicious

i want to go back to bed
i got up because of the pain of
sleeping on an old matress
and two futon matresses
i'm feeling better now,
the pain has gone away
but now i want to go back to bed

these short bursts of brain fry
have been brought to you by
lortab, just one
my teeth hurt, so i took one.
i guess that's a step back
with my recovery
6 months with two relapses
and i'm not taking handfulls of pills
or on the weed

maybe i can do something
with tuna and shredded salmon
no, that sounds gross.

today it is 108 degrees
way past my temperature limit
my meds simply won't allow it
i almost passed out in the litter box
but i kept my shit together
and stayed concious for the gathering of the shit
and the putting away of it

now i am roasting eggplant for doc
and i am making home made mac and cheese for M and i
the kitchen is cluttered and nowhere near clean
i just work around it because i want the mac and cheese
and i want to roast off the eggplant before it goes bad
doc also got camenbert and garlic infused bread
and i want that, too
cheese on cheese
i've been eating so healthy lately
i don't feel at all guilty about a cheese night.
i should roast off some garlic while i'm roasting things, hrm.

no garlic to roast and i put too little cheese in it
but M liked it, that's the important thing
then i cleaned the kitchen because with the
roasting and the baking and the making.
the place was trashed and i had to empty the dishwasher anyway
so i figured i'd make doc's life easier
and cleaned the whole kitchen

you know, it's easier to think in single short lines like this

just now no more.

last night i made a curry with doc after he got home from work. it came out so good. i'll have some of the chicken tonight, chicken was the chosen meat. doc had bought the chicken on sale and needed something to do with it, so i suggested curry. i've never made one, but months of watching gordon ramsey, i figured i could piece one together with out using the curry powder in my spice rack. i'd give a recipe, but i didn't really measure anything. instead of a tomato base, i used a cream base, so it was really rich and full of evil calories, as doc pointed out over and over. no problem, i'll make the next one a tomato base.

in other news, we've got an organic market up the road from us now and we get great deals on veggies. i just have to learn to eat veggies. but with this curry thing down, i think i can try.

i took two klonopin instead of one at the evening meds. i'm feeling much better than before.

DJ came over and i made mac and cheese from scractch and biscuits from a tin. we all ate and watched Beer Fest. we watch horror movies daily, they get more and more gory and fucked up . . . and it's this Beer Fest movie that will give me nightmares. i hate almost all who starred in it, based on previous work of the same demographic.

doc has drastically cut my sugar intake. no more frosted flakes. just frosted mini wheats. i think that may have something to do with my general bitchiness. my coffee tastes different because of this and i don't know how stable my blood sugar is. add a glucose test to the things i need to do healthwise.

what matters is that i feel better.

from the Pooh Cook Book:

Cream Scones
1-1/4 cups sifted all purpose flour
2-1/2 teaspoons double acting baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon honey or 1 teaspoon sugar
1 large egg
1/4 cup light cream

sift the flour with the baking soda and salt

cut the butter into the flour with a pastry blender or two knives until it looks like coarse meal.

stir the honey or sugar, the egg and cream together, add to flour mixture, beat well but do not overwork.

pat the dough on a floured board

cut in rounds squares or triangles

bake on a cookie sheet for 10 minutes in preheated 400 degree oven

all i have is skim milk, so i'm going to do 1/3 sour cream and 2/3 milk, and add i cup chocolate chips

you can also add a swirl of cinnamon while mixing, and add rasins

mmmmmmmm diced red onion, black beans and a heavy hand of currry powder, cumin and garlic powder, simmered in the water from the beans (i use canned black beans)

i also got as close as i have so far in mimicking chi-chi's house dressing: sour cream, taco seasoning, and a bit of ranch dressing. i wish they would just sell the stuff.

so all that stuff in tortillas topped with cheese and salsa.

i love food induced nostalgia.

and so the seroquel hits me. it will be another hour until i can cut more paper, i don't trust myself with the 2' by 2' dullish paper cutter when i'm zonky.


henry does not share my fear. yes, he is a big big cat.

the sky is grey. the big national map on the weather channel has most of the united states covered in rain. i should find that image. i'm hoping for a little rain. and a lot of thunder.

then . . .

i wander into the kitchen, we may never know what for, and i made a big pot of chili.

doc is thawing a roast, so i snatched a quarter of it and cut it up into little bite sized cubes (it was really easy since the meat was still half frozen). then i diced an onion and minced some garlic. i browned the meat, added the onions and then the garlic.

once that was all brown and limp (don't forget to salt and peper the meat and onions as they cook) i added a couple cups of broth, a big can of tomato sauce, a can of black eyed peas (the LAST can of mormon welfare food left over from a care package from my family when we moved in), three cups of black beans i cooked the other night, and a bag of anemic looking frozen corn. the corn plumped right up once it hit the hot liquid.



then the spices, and heavy on the cumin! chili powder, curry powder, granulated garlic, s&p and anything you like in your chili. now it is simmering, cooking down.

everything was found languishing except for the meat. and i feel all accomplished for making good use of the stuff.

and now the house smells of cumin and we are out of chili powder. then i found some sour cream to garnish. doc will have a yummy good meal when he gets home tonight.


the most recent batch of paper

this is my fascinating life.