cydniey

my forehead is killing me. come to think of it, the side of my head hurts, too. this has been driving me crazy all morning, and i just remembered what happened last night. i had some sort of seizure. it started while i was walking in from the kitchen, so i leaned over the couch as my legs went out from under me, my body was wrenched with small but violent movements. i tried to get to my chair to sit down and i fell down, knocking the side of my head against the table and my forehead on the floor. my body continued to convulse for a while, i don't know how long, not too long.

i don't remember what happened after that. i just now remembered having the episode at all. this is really scary. it happened after i took klonopin, i think. but i hadn't had any klonopin for two days, since the seroquel XR keeps me dopey all day. i don't even know if it was a seizure. it felt like my muscles were all clenching and loosening and clenching again, my arms were flopping around. sounds like a seizure, but i was concious through the whole thing and i always thought people blacked out when they had seizures. maybe not. i don't know.

what the fuck, harriet?

and how do i stop it from happening again? it just happened, there was nothing leading up to it, i just suddenly lost control of my body to convulsions.

as i write, i remember more of it. it was terrible. i ran into the wall, too, not with my head. yep, there's my shoulder all bruised up. i should have just sunk to the floor. but that didn't seem like an option and i tried to fight it and couldn't. why i didn't get to the floor before i fell is a mystery. denial?

the worst thing is that i can't remember what was going on leading up to it. and i don't remember in what order it happened in the late evening, before or after meds. did i go right to bed after that, or did i stay up and try to regain a sense of normalcy before going to bed?

what was i feeling before it happened, were there warning signs? what does it mean?